Social U.











{February 27, 2009}   Hand-In-Hand With A White Man

Walking out of Tinsletown Theater in a crowd full of blacks and colleagues, I was hesitant to display affection to the guy I was standing next to, not only because I had just gotten out of a relationship, but because I was walking hand-in-hand with a new potential date – who just so happened to be white.

It’s sad to say, but society doesn’t appear to be as enamored with women of the black community as it is with women of other ethnic backgrounds – especially whenever black women are with white men, and that is why I have decided to confront the issue of interracial dating in this week’s blog.

In friendships and relationships minorities have a tendency to cling to one another out of the conscious understanding of having a social difference in common whether it is a black man with a Hispanic woman, or an Asian-American with a Native American. However, this clinginess does not necessarily transfer over into romantic relationships.

With respect to black culture, as of late, black men have the tendency to reject black women in exchange for women of other races.

Some black women feel that this rejection is fueled by the bold outspokenness and independence that black women have, which in return emasculates (or simply takes away the sense of dominance) from black men. Because of this some women believe that black males seek relationships in other ethnic groups.

On a contrary note, “a study by Harris and Kalbfleisch (2000) suggests that due to the increase in people of color in America’s schools, workplace and society, the potential for interracial romantic relationships is inevitably going to rise” (Ross, “The Perceptions of College Students About Interracial Relationships”).

This acceptance of open dating by black men encourages the increase of interracial dating among black women; however, it’s important not to believe the foolishness that because people share a common skin color they will share similar mindsets or attitudes, thus making them more suitable in relationships.

As I previously mentioned, being in a similar circumstance in my life, I have discussed the topic of dating other races with friends over lunch-room conversation and these conversations have formed the foundation for the comments mentioned thus far.

So should black men stop dating other races out of fear of harming black women’s self-esteem? No. It’s damaging to oneself to deny inner feelings for a person of another race out of fear of the approval, or lack of it, by people of their own race.

My advice in deciding to date a person of another race is this: don’t allow yourself to be limited in dating opportunities simply because of another person’s skin color. It’s difficult enough to find a person that one is compatible with; to limit that dating pool only to people of one’s ethnicity could narrow the possibility of potential dates too much.

So my question to you would be this: should black women stop waiting for black men to take an interest in them, and date men of other ethnic backgrounds? Or, should black women adopt more docile attitudes (without submitting their independence) in an effort to attract their men back to themselves. (These questions are open to people of all ethnic backgrounds!)

Source: Ross, William. “The Perceptions of College Students About Interracial Relationships.” NATIONAL FORUM OF APPLIED EDUCATIONAL RESEARCH JOURNAL 17E: 3. 27 Feb. 2009 .

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thecampusonline says:

Hmm Gabby. This is certainty a deep topic to talk about. I think I have shared with you some of my personal views on this. I think love is not limited to males in my own race. There are a lot of speculation surrounding this for very valid reasons. I think we should explore the facts around it, but love is going to come knocking regardless. I know!! Good topic!– A.M.



Whitney says:

I would say yes to both questions. Black women should start dating men outside their ethnic background and they should try to tone down the attitude. When I say tone down the attitude, I mean they should think twice about how they react to situations, learn to be rational, and don’t be overly abrupt.



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