Social U.











{April 17, 2009}   How To Handle Social Situations With Frenemies

 

Frenemy: A person has gone from being a former friend to an enemy.

 

          When social circles divide to become more like ovals keeping two former friends on both sides with their mutual friends connecting both frenemies to each other, things become awkward. In order to survive in instances like these I’ve posted five suggestions for remaining civil in uncomfortable social situations. 

 

  1. Stand your ground. If you act cowardly (although you might be feeling completely awkward) you give that person power over you. Yes, it is good to loose your pride, however, if you act like you’re afraid of whoever you’ve had conflict with then that person will see that and will think they can treat you however he/she wants.
  2. Always remain cordial. It never helps any situation to visibly hold a grudge against someone. Yes forgiveness is ideal, however we all know that sometimes it takes time to completely forgive a person. So, rather than holding a grudge that all the world can see, act as though nothing happened. If anything it makes you look like the better person if the frenemy still treats you rudely.
  3. If ever in a verbal situation with the frenemy don’t walk away. Walking away always makes it seem like you’re not willing to work through problems. I suppose if you don’t value the friendship that much you have nothing to lose, but if you’d still like to try to be friends it’s best for you to stick around and try to speak.
  4. Don’t go out of the way to be friends with someone who doesn’t want to befriend you.  It makes you look desperate. Friendships are mutual relationships, and anyone who doesn’t put equal work into one doesn’t value it as much as is needed for it to succeed.
  5. Ultimately, it’s important to accept that not everybody is going to like you, in the same way that you’re not going to like everybody that you meet. Whenever you accept that sometimes different people don’t click it becomes less hurtful whenever you find someone who doesn’t want to be your friend, or who you don’t want to be friends with.

 

          My best advice, however, for how to handle social situations with people who you don’t get along with well is for you to see things from their perspective. When we humble ourselves and actually attempt to see ourselves as others do it becomes easier to like (and if not like, than tolerate) people who are different from yourself.

 

          So how do you handle uncomfortable social situations with frenemies? Please post and share!

 

In Confidence,

Gabrielle

 

 

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