Social U.

{April 24, 2009}   Shameless Attraction

            Sitting at a lunch table full of men, I suddenly felt like a guppy in a fish tank full of hungry sharks, all ready to compete with each other to ask me out on a date. Have you ever been in a situation where it seems like every guy that you know is interested in you?

          Sure, unless you’ve been in this situation you’d think, “who wouldn’t want to have a ton of men pining over them?” But, when it’s a table full of men that you’re uninterested in that is surrounding you, then I think you’d quickly get the picture.

          Therefore, I’ve compiled a list of polite ways to tell a guy that you’re “just not that into him.” And here it goes:


  1. One of the least obvious ways to tell a guy that you’re uninterested in him is to say that he and another girl would make a cute couple. This completely throws guys off and makes them think that you don’t pick up on their flirtatious cues. It also signifies to him that you don’t see him in a romantic way.
  2. If the “throw-off” doesn’t work and he is a little more aggressive then say that you’re not looking for a relationship right now. Unless the guy really believes that he’s the right one for you, then most guys will back off.
  3. If for some reason he thinks that he’s the guy for you, but you’re still uninterested in him, then it’s time for the serious ammunition. You’ve got to make a decision. Be either totally honest, or run.
  4. In the instance that running and complete honesty don’t work and you have a hard core crush on your hands, then you have to break off the friendship for a while until they can respect that you need your space. When their ready to chill and be only friends then you can reestablish the friendship again, but until that happens you will always have a crushing guy on your hands.


          Recently, I was on the first three steps with various guys, but sadly, I have reached the ultimatum that is the fourth step. Understandably, because each guy is different, he might not need desperate measures like being shamelessly honest with him, or separating yourself from the friendship. Some men are better at picking up non-verbal cues than others are.

          Either way, regardless of whether he picks on non-verbal cues or not, always make an effort to let him down gently. Always remember that he saw enough in you to make you attractive, so don’t diminish whatever light he might have seen in you by being rude to him or by carelessly breaking his heart.


In Confidence,



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